03 January 2017

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Candle In The Tomb 鬼吹灯之精绝古城 - Episode 4 (Recap)

Posted by SakiVI on January 03, 2017
SakiVI: Yikes, this one scared me and saddened me. Scared because I have a massive bat phobia from when I got locked in a shed with a bat as a child, and saddened because the death of innocents is always sad, and even more so when said death is plain malicious.
Trotwood: Yup this episode made me sad and touched by how touched Fatty was. I was not scared though. I'd be grossed out by all those batwings touching me, but I'm waiting to be scared.
kakashi: Oh, I was scared enough for three of you. Oh wait, we are four. I don't watch any horror if I don't have to and this episode almost gave me a heart-attack. In a good way! 
JoAnne: I was a little bit scared sometimes. It gives me hope for future episodes! Please, please: scare me and then reassure me with Jin Dong and his big gun!

Episode 4

Back to breaking open locks on boxes and Japanese army lunchboxes. Seriously, no one should eat that food in there. Go hunt some rabbits or boar instead. Oh look, there are gas masks and other paraphernalia. I'm so glad they took these. I'm all about stockpiling supplies. I'm that person buying in bulk even though I live alone. Jin Dong even gets to show off his big gun know-how, yay! Aw, when Bayi scolds Fatty for pointing a rifle at his own side, Ying Zi's nod of total agreement is so cute! She understands guns. We also get to learn that Fatty is a gun nerd even though he never went to the army because he is still an army brat.
This was helpful information for me. I'm slow. I was still trying to figure out why he knew certain things and not others.
This show does these little moments of "ah, this is what's going on with so-and-so" so well
I like this too; they leave us wondering about things the right amount of time.
Ooh, but Jin Dong is holding a big Japanese Type 100 submachine gun! And it's a rare item, so yay, looks like the boys can sell it after using it. And I like how Ying Zi strokes hers, lol! They also stock up on grenades that just happen to be around.
Stocking up. Stocking Up!--doing a whole cheap/free supplies dance -- I was actually getting excited and trying to figure out how much they could carry and run at the same time.
This is like Christmas and Easter combined
Jin Dong, now with bigger gun.
Uh oh, Lurch is banging on the iron gate. Hands up all who think he can eventually bang right through it. Well of course (raising my hand). Damn sure he will (raising mine) (If he were not going to bang through it, there would be no gate.)(I have both mine up in spirit because I'm typing.) Bayi says safety first, we're going to find an exit, and Fatty blusters in Ying Zi's face how he's not scared, and Bayi shuts him up by tossing a stuffed bag at him. Bayi is cool. Ying Zi too, for putting up with all this.
Bayi is cool, too, because he packed properly. I really like supply guys.
Fatty is the guy who'll shit his pants while he assures everyone he is totally not scared
And then blame his 'accident' on bad noodles or something. Can there be bad noodles? What could go bad in noodles? Trot is our baker, noodles are made of flour, she should know. Trot?
Do you mean besides instant ramen which is pretty much poisonous? Or are you talking about the lead laced noodle controversy in India?
No, not being bad for you in and of themselves - just your general food 'turning' sort of situation.
Generally dried pasta is best if eaten within 2-3 years, but I haven't seen it go bad. It can get contaminated by bugs though.
As they wander through the passageway, Fatty suddenly stops. He smells blood. No one else smells it, though. Also, that exit Bayi thought would be there turns out to be a vent. He then stumbles as if pushed. But no one pushed him - that we can see... dun dun dun!
I remember thinking if there is a vent hole there, where are the bats. Fatty smelled blood. Nobody is slaughtering animals here, sooooo this is a perfect spot for bats.
Do bats smell like blood?! (For the record, I really love bats)
I'm not aware of bats smelling like blood, (if they are sucking blood they would, wouldn't they?) but I think with that many animals in there, you'd definitely smell something. And I think bats are cool, too, but I knew that Saki had a problem with them so I was a little worried when I came on this scene
Bayi asks Ying Zi about seeing a child before. He didn't see it, but he does think something is spooky. Hands up all who are totally spooked right now. (Again, I have both mine up in spirit, geddit, spirit, because I'm typing.)
Then I promptly forgot about the bats and started looking around for ghosts. I wasn't spooked yet just anxious and bothered because I can't figure anything out and Bayi is not spouting comforting tomb lore.
I was super scared. Seriously, dead babies / dead kids that return as ghosts..
One of the scariest/creepiest moments ever for me in a horror movie was the little reanimated boy chasing the neighbor in Pet Sematary. That giggle haunted my dreams.

SCREEEEEEEAAAAMMMM! Someone burn those bats! There's a bat attack, and someone else can fill in the details because I'm fast-forwarding. ::Shudders:: Seriously, I will take corpse-eaters over bats any day.
I don't get all the bat shooting. They just unloaded on those bats. Were the bats attacking? I'm not a bat hugger by any means, but all I could think of was that they needed to save those bullets to attack something that could actually kill them. I was grossed out, but I would have just ducked and covered (any open wounds) if the bats were trying to suck my blood. However, vampire bats aren't normally in China only in the Americas.
I think they just panicked. That's why they shot like crazy. And there was this one close up of a bat that was horrid, so I'm thinking these are monster bats. They would have gone for the jugular. In mass
Those were really big bats, and Fatty would have had to worry about them getting tangled up in his lovely curls.
So, apparently, Fatty threw a grenade at the bats and hilariously called it the "Big Baby" and now Bayi is scolding him because how the heck were he and Ying Zi supposed to know what Fatty was talking about? Luckily it didn't explode, so no one was hurt in the confusion. Good point, Bayi.
Actually, I'm more surprised that no one got accidentally shot with all that machine gun business at bats going on.
This was hilarious. Bayi was furious, rightfully so, because he'd be bits and pieces if "Big Baby" had exploded
The more I think about it, the more I wonder that Bayi would ever have agreed to do anything like this with Fatty, who he must already know is a reactionary fool. Yes, I know he serves a purpose (and he does that well, so yay for us viewers) but would YOU do something dangerous with a person like Fatty, if you knew him?
Oh shoot. There's a child's hand print on Bayi's back. Ying Zi reminds him that he felt pushed. Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, Fatty saw the ghost! Oh, my heart fell into my stomach! (I actually felt good about this because everyone has to agree now. I hate it when someone sees something or thinks something but no one believes them. Solutions aren't found that way! Now. What to do about the ghost or do we just recognize that there is a ghost and figure out how not to ignore it?) 
They decide to check it out (okay--ignoring it was not chosen), and Jin Dong sexily reloads his gun (look, I need this joke). They come to a locked iron door and Fatty asks if they met the Taoist priest from Mount Lao who can travel through walls? Nah, Fatty, you met a ghost.
I only like nice ghosts. I somewhat doubt there are nice ghosts down here... 
I like all ghosts. Bring on the ghosts. Yayyyy, ghosts!
The door says "Entry Forbidden" and there seems to be a pun here because Fatty thinks you can't enter standing, and thus it must be a morgue. Well...
The writing is Japanese and Fatty can only read parts of it - the one word that says "li" (which means standing), so that's why he thinks it's about going in on your back. Haha. 
I would say he's an idiot, but even if he can only read that one word, that's one more word than I can read.

Bayi, however, points out the door is an airtight military installation and that "Entry Forbidden" just means exactly that. Yay for Bayi! Ah, and that there should be valuable items inside. Fatty is all excited at the thought of treasure, but Bayi scoffs that's not the only sort of valuable item. It could be a secret experiment or biological or chemical weapons. Fatty blusters how, as representatives of the outstanding youth of the new era, they have the responsibility to bring the Chinese treasures out. Hmm, why do I think you're going to regret that statement, Fatty? 
He's got cash pay outs on the brain. But to be fair, it's seems like it's been a long time since he didn't have to worry about money.
I actually like how he can still muster enthusiasm after Lurch, killer bats, and ghost children. That's true determination!
You guys go ahead and heap praise on Fatty. I have decided that Bayi is a Pancake Man and I'm going to stick by him. You look at him and just know he can fix anything around the house and would be good at soothing crying children and recognizing when Mom needs a break. 
I'm not going for anyone in this show. Fatty is not appealing in that way. And I'd be afraid to go near Bayi because I'm afraid of Jo. I agree that he's a Pancake Man though. Is that permissible?
Of course.  I think at some point we need to do a post defining Pancake Man, Trot.  Try to explain it in a concrete way, give examples, that kind of thing.
Bayi says that an exit is the most important thing for them now (true that), and Fatty sighs, and says, okay, fine, but the bats are behind us, maybe the exit is through this airtight room? Bayi says okay, even though he considers it unlikely since the room wasn't on the map, but make sure you listen to my instructions. Fatty whines he's always been listening to Bayi, which, pffft, gets Bayi looking in an embarrassed way at Ying Zi.
They'd be stupid not to check this room out. It doesn't say "enter at the risk of death" after all
There's a monster chasing them and they need to find a way out. You can pretty much guarantee that a secured room is not going to be that, so I'd say now is not the time to explore it.
They put on gas masks (see supplies are good) and enter the room amidst much grunting and shoving of the doors. They open the room to find a load of ancient coffins all stripped of their treasures. Aw, sorry, Fatty. Ying Zi, who does not like dead bodies, decides to step out of the room and guard the door from there. Good plan, Ying Zi. And Fatty is so frustrated, saying the Japanese only followed their Three Alls Policy: kill all, burn all, loot all. Yes, but the Japanese left you Lurch, you lucky people, you. (and the guns. Don't forget the guns. Those guns are probably worth a pretty penny)
So .... why would the Japanese put all this behind an air-tight door saying "Entry Forbidden"?
I think they wanted to limit access to the tomb, is all.
They find a large, decorated red coffin which gets Fatty excited because the coffin itself could be worth lots of money. (but how will they get it out of there?) (NOT) Ying Zi comes back in to remind them to find an exit. Cute: she says she was scared outside too. Bayi then shows off his knowledge to Fatty, and us, saying the general outside had higher rank since he would've been more important to Chinese dynasties at war with invading northern nomads. It's just the general didn't have good taste. Fatty gets bored and says they need to open this coffin, right here, right now, and Ying Zi, always sensible, reminds them regarding the candle. They don't know the direction they are in, and Ying Zi doesn't want Bayi wasting time with the feng shui compass, so they light candles on all four points, hee.
I loved this, and she had all the candles in her hand while saying it, too.
Loved it too, including the beautiful coffin. But why did the Japanese cover it with a white cloth?
Right? That seems like a respectful gesture. Did they have respect for the Chinese dead? Doesn't seem so.
After much grunting and heaving, the boys open the coffin, and find a skeleton - and two perfectly preserved toddlers. Bayi's eyes widen in shock, I'm not sure what Fatty did, but Ying Zi's yell was what I'd have done. This would've made me jump not the skeleton. They just look like they are sleeping. And, dear reader, I'm really sad right now. It is a horrible thing to look at those poor kids sitting in the coffin. At first Fatty didn't believe they were real, and neither did I, but it turns out the kids are very, very real and preserved by mercury. I've a strong feeling googling this will give me nightmares, so I'll just believe the show on this point. And the worst is that they were made to ingest the mercury in life and covered in it in death. Then the bodies wouldn't rot, even after thousands of years. This is so cruel: it must've hurt them so much.
I almost cried. Even more so when I saw how tiny they were, later. 
I didn't think they were real, either, I thought that they were very creepy looking dolls. Poor little babies... Do you guys think the ghost is from them?
Everyone is down after that, even Fatty. Bayi and Fatty even smoke to relax. Fatty says to Bayi they should bring the children outside for a proper burial. Ying Zi agrees. Going back to the soil will bring them peace, she says. Sidebar: they'd better be buried deep down since they can't decompose. And so Bayi and Fatty make slings for both babies out of the canvas that covered the coffin and carry one each.
And with that, I forgave Fatty. He was really upset about those children. I think Ying Zi was impressed with them both here, too. I was moved by their care.
Yes, very moved. 
I liked how none of them hesitated for even a second. They knew the right thing and they acted immediately.
As they step out of that nightmare room, Fatty asks where the bats are, and Bayi says he didn't raise them, how would he know? Pffft. Oh no, Ying Zi steps on a dead bat. Gross. (see that would've freaked me out. I wasn't freaked out by Lurch, but stepping a dead bat would've given me the heebiejeebies) They go to another exit, and it's blocked. Fatty says the only thing to do is to fight Lurch. Bayi mentions that they'll be too hungry for anything if they don't leave somehow, and at Fatty's complaints about being really hungry now, Ying Zi offers him her father's game meat when they get back, aw.
What happened to the glutionous rice? And do you think stepping on a dead bat in those shoes is worse than stepping on a slug without shoes? 
No. An emphatic NO. I've stepped on a slug without shoes. No.
I stepped on a disemboweled mouse once in my bare feet. It's not good. I still haven't forgiven that cat.
As they reload their machine guns, Bayi tells Fatty they are only going to distract Lurch enough to leave, not kill him. That's sweet. Then Ying Zi notices Lurch isn't slamming into the door anymore. He's in, folks! And they don't know where he is! They decide to charge through since Lurch could be anywhere, and besides, they now have guns. But as they approach the doors, Lurch knocks them down! Woah, that was scary! The gang blast Lurch with the machine guns, and run, and blast Lurch some more, and even throw a grenade and absolutely nothing happens to Lurch! Fatty even gets left behind, and Lurch just sneers at him, hahahahaha.
He runs the wrong way! They don't realize he isn't behind them until they stop running.
Lurch hid behind the door! Ahahahaaa, he isn't that dumb after all.
I don't know if he hid, exactly - I thought it was like when he was stopped by the donkey hoof. He can be thrown off track, and when he doesn't know what to expect, he doesn't know what to do. When he broke through the door and couldn't see, hear or sense movement from the raiders, he had no reason to act. When they showed back up, it started him up again.
Okay, Lurch is sneaky. Fatty runs from him, and hides behind one wall, and Lurch looked at him from the other side. This shouldn't be funny, but it really is. (I think it was intentionally funny! This production loves their monsters - I approve)
Yay for monsters!
 
Fatty throws a grenade at Lurch, who just throws a barrel back at Fatty, hee, and Fatty runs and hides in a cart. Lurch knows, though, and just pushes the cart hard (probably the only way he can move) (did anyone think Indiana Jones Temple of Doom here? Anyone?) (yes - and actually this feels a lot like those movies) and Fatty goes Flying! Luckily, he lands on something soft. Bayi jumps up to gun at Lurch and throws a working grenade at him. Does that stop Lurch? Three guesses:
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Nope! They're going to need a Taoist priest for this one, just saying.

The gang run and run and the most all that machine gun fire does is slow Lurch just a little bit. Back in that first tomb room, Bayi tells Fatty and Ying Zi to get the coffin top off the doorway and that he'll distract Lurch. Okay, if you can call firing useless machine gun rounds and grenades that have no effect a distraction, sure. Bayi yells at Fatty to use a grenade to blast open the coffin top, and Fatty yells he's all out (of course, they are running out of supplies because they haven't been using them judiciously. Supplies aren't a joke, people!), and Ying Zi (thank goodness, someone packed properly) calmly gives him one. Fatty says, Meimei, you must be my JieJie! Ha!
It's not gonna work. Fatty has thrown several grenades and none of them worked. 
I have decided that when the Zombie Apocalypse happens, my survival plan is to find Trot and then just do what she tells me to do.
Fatty and Ying Zi count up to three and six, respectively, and then, as Lurch lurches in, it finally blows. What a relief! Like I really never thought I'd say that about a blowing grenade, but there you have it. Except, it blew Bayi to the floor where his body is in too much shock to move. And Lurch picks him up like Bayi's his new toy, and hasn't it been too long already, like a thousand years of no new toys?
Lurch, put that down! 
It's rude to touch things that don't belong to you, Lurch. Bayi is mine.

Comments

Is Lurch a baby too? Someone sit him down and tell him his real age and to grow up, take a bath, dress better, that sort of thing. Maybe even get a job. He'd be great at shoveling snow or digging ditches.
Are we back to the ditch conversation?
Well I still think ditch is the wrong word, so yes, I guess we are.

Aaannd, I don't know what to say about the rest since the baby sacrifice was just horrible, and so were the bats. Interesting that Fatty is a gun nerd, though. Perhaps this will be useful later on.
Interesting that Fatty has a soft spot for babies, too.
He's a good guy. We already knew that, but now we're certain. He's a big softie who talks macho, but there's a heart of gold in there. He must be an awesome friend and that's no surprise, seeing how fine Bayi is. He wouldn't hang with someone not worthy.
Except that he's the wrong friend to take into a tomb, guys. Don't let sentiment overrule your common sense.
   

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